Flame and Starlight (The Esteria Series Book 1) Read online

  I leaned forward and sniffed at the food. Everything looked amazing and normal. There was roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and fat, buttered dinner rolls. My mouth watered, and I clenched my stomach as I felt it rumble in a not-so-silent demand to eat. When I didn’t move, he reached forward and grabbed my plate from in front of me and began to fill it up with food.

  “Are you going to feed me, too?” I asked when the plate was sat back in front of me. He leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist, and smiled a bit bigger now. I noticed his eye teeth were much sharper than my own.

  “Eat the food, Alyssandra.”

  I took a bite of chicken and fought the urge to just start shoveling it all in my mouth. It was the best food I had ever tasted.

  “About that,” I said, pointing the fork casually in his direction as I swallowed. “How do you know my full name? I don’t make that public knowledge.”

  “I made it my job to know everything about you,” he said, tearing a roll into pieces and bringing each one to his mouth.

  “Hmm, seems like a waste of time. A High Lord spending his time and effort looking into a measly human girl?” I scooped a heaping amount of potatoes into my mouth. He watched me swallow. “Why would I be worth looking into? And, before I forget, what’s this stuff on my neck?” I swiped a hand over my neck and shoulder where I knew that dusting of silver sat unmoving. “Is it going to spread all over until my skin looks like yours?” I thought he had maybe flinched at my harsh tone, but he recovered so quickly I barely saw.

  “Ah, that. When I stepped into your path in the coffee shop, I planted a bit of my dust on you. It helps me track you. View it as an extension of me.” I felt my mouth fall open and that nagging kernel of rage start to slither its way up my spine. He gave a little snort of laughter at the expression on my face.

  “You can track me with this? Like your own little Faery GPS?” I was clenching the knife and fork so hard in my hands I thought for a moment I could bend that pretty silver just out of spite. “Take it back,” I said through clenched teeth.

  He tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips in mock contemplation.

  “I don’t think I will,” he said after a painful amount of silence. I met his stare straight on, trying to spew as much hate into my look as I could. He gave a little shiver. “Why would I ever give up being able to taste all those very human emotions you have?” My mouth fell open again. “So much anger. You’re a violent little thing, aren’t you?”

  I felt my entire body flush with embarrassment, and then, remembering he could probably feel that, too, I pushed it deep into my belly. I stood, and the chair scraped loudly against the tile floor.

  “I would like to go back to my room.” My fingertips stayed splayed on the table, and I focused all my thoughts on them. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him take a small sip of champagne.

  “Sit down, Alyssandra,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I haven’t answered your other question yet.”

  I took a steadying breath and forced my legs to bend and my body to sit back down. My appetite was suddenly very much gone. I grabbed the glass of champagne from in front of me and threw it back. It burned all the way down, and bubbles threatened at my nose, but I gave him the blankest stare I could manage.

  “Go on, then,” I said with a wave, imitating him. He smiled and leaned back in his chair at an angle, his fingers making circles on the table.

  “There is a lot at stake here, Alyssandra. I won’t go into full detail as I can’t trust you or your weak mind to betray me.” I kept my eyes on him. “But, supposedly, you are important. And there are a lot of Fae out there who would kill to have you or just kill you. So I made it my mission to track you down and take you before they could get their greedy little paws on you.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I’m half telling you this to scare you and half telling you just because I don’t think it’s fair to let you go on in life without realizing you’re in constant danger.” He paused. “Not from my court, though. Not a single soul in my Court of Night will touch you, speak of touching you, or even think of touching you.”

  I swallowed. “That clearly doesn’t include you.” His jaw twitched, and I patted myself on the back for that small victory. I sighed and leaned forward. “That still doesn’t answer what you want with me.”

  “For now, little duck, I would like you to learn how to fight. I need you to be able to take care of yourself when I’m not around. And when I am around, for that matter. I can’t be constantly worrying about you staying alive.”

  “You expect me to become strong enough to stand against Fae?” I thought back to how easily he had thrown me over his shoulder, how he had been able to lift my entire weight with one hand under my arm. I knew my mother had mentioned something about their endless strength, and I wondered how my puny human muscles would be able to keep up.

  “You’re stronger than you think. That Fae blood that runs in your veins, albeit a smaller amount than your likely foes, will begin to take over now that you’re in this realm. I think it will, anyway.”

  It took a second for my brain to catch up with his words. Fae blood in my veins? All the warnings, all the stories, all the moving every year suddenly made sense. My mouth went dry as sandpaper. If I was part Fae, and I was for some reason important, no wonder my mom had us moving once, if not twice, a year. No wonder she had filled my head with her stories of the Fae. Not stories—memories? He was studying my face and I was sure all the emotions I was feeling.

  “You had to have had some inkling. My sources told me your mother told you stories of us almost every day. She moved you from place to place every year to keep you safe.”

  “Yes, stories!” I shouted back at him. “I thought they were stories!” My nails were gripping painfully into the wooden arms of my chair. “You’re telling me that I am Fae.”

  “Half Fae, yes.” A crazed laugh bubbled up through my throat at that answer. Like being half Fae made it any less shocking. One of his eyebrows shot up and under his blanket of hair. “That’s a strange response.”

  I glared at him. “You said my Fae blood will start to take over.” He nodded. “Does that mean I’ll end up with my own Faery dust all over my skin?” And then I reached up, frantically gripping my ears, still rounded. “Will my ears become pointed like yours?”

  “Only time will tell what you’ll get from your father’s bloodline. I can tell you that you will not get ‘Faery dust.’” His nose wrinkled at the term.” What you see on my skin is only seen in the High Fae of the Night Court. Your father is most definitely not of my court. As for the ears, I’m not sure. I would assume so, but I can’t say for certain. I’m sure other gifts from your father’s blood will begin to awaken, but what they’ll be, I don’t know.” He finished off his glass of champagne. I thought mine might come back up. I swallowed, and swallowed again at the dryness in my throat.

  “You mentioned something about me learning how to fight. I have never fought a day in my life. Who is going to teach me? You?”

  It was his turn to bark out a laugh. I refused to let my cheeks redden. “No. I have other things to worry about.” More important things than a measly halfling, I thought to myself. “Emric will oversee your training and will report back to me with your progress. I may also pop in from time to time to see you for myself—see if any other little gifts make an appearance.”

  “Any other gifts?” I asked, frowning. “Implying one has already made itself known?” I couldn’t remember doing anything remarkable since I had been here other than sleep.

  That smirk made another appearance. “Your mouth and how you have the alarming ability to not shut it.”

  Now was as fine a time as any, I figured. I crouched closer and reared my hand back, fully intending to make good on the promise I had made to myself to slap that smirk off his face. With annoyingly catlike reflexes, he caught and held my wrist in his hand before I even made it within a foot of his face. He pulled me c
loser, and I could see his shadows pulsing around him, threatening to come closer.

  “That,” he said, gripping my wrist just a little tighter, “would be very, very foolish of you.” I met his steely grey eyes with malice. I was holding my breath, dreading the thought of inhaling his shadows, if that was even possible. He tossed my arm back, and I landed in my seat with a thud. “I wouldn’t try that again until you’ve gotten a bit stronger, and maybe a bit faster as well.”

  I let go of the breath I had been holding. I stood up, careful not to let the chair scrape this time.

  “I would like to go back to my room, Your Highness.” I swept back from my chair and bent over as deeply as I could without falling to the floor. I heard him laugh softly, and then he snapped his fingers. I stood back up and brushed off the nonexistent dirt from the front of my dress. I didn’t know what to do with my arms as he stared me down, so I crossed them like a petulant child.

  “Well, then, go on. Emric will walk you back.” The door opened behind me, and Asher stood up and walked over to the giant panes of glass looking over the mountains. I rolled my eyes at the back of his head and walked back over to the door, grabbing my cloak off the wall. “Your training starts tomorrow,” I heard him say, and Emric softly clicked the door shut behind us.

  I swung the cloak around my shoulders and buttoned it under my chin. I was cold, and the food in my stomach felt like cement. For the first time in a long time, my heart panged at the absence of my mother. And then a small seed of anger blossomed. She should’ve told me. She should’ve prepared me for this far better than she had. All those stories…they were just stories.

  My slippered feet padded on the cold floor as I followed Emric through the halls. He mercifully left me to my thoughts. I had so many questions, and I knew Asher would be the only person that would give me answers, but I could barely look at him, let alone have a civilized conversation with him.

  I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to blindly start trusting the people here, especially the one that stole me from my perfectly normal life back home. How was I supposed to start training, start learning to fight? I had never trained in my life. I was pitifully weak compared to these Fae I found myself surrounded by. If I was going to start fighting, I hoped Asher was right in one aspect: that my Fae blood would start to take over and make me stronger. I didn’t know who my father was, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to know just yet. But if his blood was going to give me a chance at not dying at the hands of the Fae who supposedly wanted me dead, I had to be thankful for that.

  “We won’t be fighting immediately,” Emric said, bringing me back to the hallway we were walking through. “First, we will get your strength up. I would never expect you to just jump into a duel.”

  “I would hope not.” I gave him a small smile. “I’ve never done any kind of training in my life, so I’m sure I will be a much weaker subject than you are used to.”

  He shrugged. “Everyone starts somewhere.” We rounded a corner, and I vaguely remembered where we were. My room was just up on the right. “Mav will make sure you are up and ready on time. I believe Ash has made sure you have plenty of clothes. It will be cold in the morning, but you’ll have plenty of layers. Try to get a good night’s sleep and eat a big breakfast—you’ll need the energy.”

  My stomach became a pit of dread and anxiety. And it must’ve been written all over my face because he took one look at me and laughed.

  “Sounds fun,” I said and plastered a very fake smile on my face. He opened the door to my room and looked around quickly before stepping back out.

  “I’ll be here just after dawn. We start with a run.” He smiled and went to close the door. I blanched.

  “I can’t run,” I stated matter-of-factly.

  “Everyone can run,” he said as an answer. “I’ll be out here for a couple more minutes until the other guard gets here. Get some sleep.” With that, the door clicked shut.

  I exhaled and tried to steady my heartbeat that flared at the anxiety I felt about tomorrow morning. I was going to look like an absolute idiot. I had never been able to run long distances without stitches in my side, my legs burning like they were going to fall off, or my lungs giving up. And he expected me to go on a run with him? A freaking guard? I took my cloak off and hung it on the wall and took a look at myself in the mirror, cringing at the bruise on my forehead. It did look like it was healing much more quickly with what the healer gave me than it would have if I had been back home.

  I unzipped the dress, and it fell to the floor around my ankles. I took a deep breath and went searching in the bathing chamber for something more comfortable. I found some loose-fitting pants and a matching shirt that looked like pajamas. I slipped them on and washed my face, being very gentle around my temple. I made my way back out into the room, relaxing at the familiar crackle of the fire, and threw my dress over one of the chairs. If Asher was supplying all the clothes, I didn’t really care to be gentle with them. There was a cup of chamomile tea next to the bed, still steaming with heat, which was the only sign that Mavka had been here since I had gone to dinner.

  Curling up in the bed, I drank the entire cup of tea, even though it scalded my throat the entire way down. I needed all the help I could get for sleep. I sat the cup back down and noticed the fabric hanging from the canopy of the bed on every side. I pulled on one side of it, and it skirted across to the other corner. I pulled every side shut, blocking out every inch of that room and every inch of the firelight. I sighed and fully lay back into the feather-stuffed pillows. The scent of lavender and the warmth in my belly from the tea had me falling hard into sleep.

  I dreamed of my mom telling me stories. And of a tall figure covered in shadows, hovering over me as I slept.

  Chapter Five

  Cold was an understatement. It was absolutely frigid outside. Mavka had me bundled up in about five different layers of fighting leathers and wool to keep me warm. I had durable but lightweight boots on, laced all the way up over thick socks, and gloves to keep my fingers from falling off. I had my hair collected in a heavy ponytail at the top of my head and a thick headband around my ears. Each step through the snow was muffled. Beside me, Emric was much less bundled up than I was. He turned and caught me looking.

  “I’m partially used to the cold, and my Fae blood also keeps me warmer than your human blood does. I’m hoping the Fae side of you kicks in sooner rather than later.” Yeah, me too, if it’ll keep me warm, I thought.

  “Is there nowhere in that massive castle that we could’ve trained instead?” I asked through gritted teeth.

  “We will go back inside after the run, I promise.” He smiled and led the way down over a small hill towards a massive lake. It was surrounded on most sides by trees blanketed in snow. The lake itself hadn’t completely frozen over yet, only patches of ice and snow here and there. Otherwise, it was a beautiful deep teal and stretched for miles.

  “We—we aren’t running around that, are we?”

  “Stretch, please,” he said through a smile. He began moving this way and that, stretching his legs and arms.

  “I can’t run around that, Emric.” I was still standing there, stiff as a board.

  “Stretch, Alys. We don’t have to run the entire time, but we need to get your stamina up. Ash also thinks the harder I push you, the quicker your Fae blood will take over. And trust me, you need that to happen.”

  I started mimicking his stretches, if only to just get my mind off this daunting task in front of me. I knew I was being dramatic, but I was never a runner, and my anxiety didn’t really let me be nonchalant about something new.

  “Do you measure in miles here? How many miles is that?”

  “We aren’t cavemen, Alys,” he laughed. “It’s about five miles all the way around it.”

  “And how fast could you run it if I weren’t around to slow you down?”

  He thought about it for a moment, the dark strands of his hair blowing around his face. “Twenty minutes, maybe
? If I had to get to the other side, though, running wouldn’t be my first choice.” I made a face.

  “What would be?”

  Suddenly, gigantic wings erupted from his back, the wind from them forcing me to take a few steps back.

  “Holy shit,” I breathed. They were enormous and made him tower over me more than he originally had. Both wings started out as a deep grey at his shoulders and faded out into a bright white that blended in with the snow around us. “Where the hell were you hiding those?” The words came out in more of a squeak than I was proud to admit. That same shit-eating grin that I had seen Asher wear so often was now on his face.

  “I can magick them away whenever I want. All my clothes have slits in them over my shoulder blades so they can come out whenever I need them.”

  “They’re beautiful,” I said and reached out to touch their feathers. They looked like the softest silk. He stepped back, and they folded back in and away. Magicked out of sight.

  “Thank you, but touching a Fae’s wings is very”—his violet eyes flashed—“intimate.”

  I felt my cheeks flush with heat. “I’m sorry,” I said, bringing my hand to my mouth.

  “It’s okay,” he said through a laugh. “I just don’t think we’re on that level yet.” He winked, and I flipped him off. He laughed harder. “Ash wasn’t kidding about your attitude.” He slapped me on the shoulder. “Let’s go, Alys. Let’s get this over with.”

  And with that, he was off, loping at a much slower speed than I knew he could go. I started after him, not enjoying the feel of the icy-cold air filling my lungs with each breath. Within minutes, my chest was burning, and I just knew my legs were going to cramp up and fall off at any moment. I was desperate for him to not hear my labored breathing, but I knew there was no fighting it. I was sure Mavka, wherever she was in the castle, could probably hear me drag each breath in harder than the last.