Flame and Starlight (The Esteria Series Book 1) Page 9
Asking questions while going at that fast of a gallop was pretty much impossible, so I held my tongue as we rode through the forest. By the time Isolde slowed, I didn’t know if I was warm from his magick or if it was just from him. His hard chest and stomach held snug against my back, and his arms stayed wrapped around me the entire time. Slowing back to a lazy walk, he guided her off the path and through the thicket of trees. A warm yellow glow was just beyond the trees in a clearing.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for how beautiful it was. Directly down below our tree line was what looked like a Swiss skiing village. There were cabins dotted throughout the hill that wrapped around the entire valley. Down lower, there were brightly lit shops and restaurants lining each side of the canals, Fae walking in and out of them, their laughter swallowed by the snow. A few boats were tied off, covered in the few inches of fresh snow that had fallen in the past couple of hours.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“It’s definitely one of my favorites.” He swung his leg around and landed softly on the ground below me. The cold air was sharp on my back at the loss of him before his magick found me again. He quickly grabbed my waist and pulled me off Isolde before I could object, and my feet struck the ground toe to toe with him. I took a step back immediately and bumped into Isolde’s side. She snorted and took a few steps away from me.
“Sorry,” I murmured to her. One side of Asher’s mouth tilted up as he took her reins and tied her off to the nearest tree.
“Good girl,” he said and gave her one last pet down her neck before turning to me. “I’m surprised the verbal assault hasn’t started yet.” He leaned one of those broad shoulders up against the tree to my side and crossed his arms, waiting.
“I need to know what your stake in all of this is,” I said, gesturing around me, arms open.
“What do you mean?” His eyebrows knitted together.
“Why come get me? I know that you thought my Fae side would kick in when you brought me here, but until then, I’m useless and weak. And even when she does decide to take over, what’s my purpose? Why make my unknown danger your business?” I was standing in front of him now, trying to look up into his eyes under the dark curtain of hair framing them.
He let out a long sigh and met my gaze. “I didn’t have some grand scheme in mind when I decided to get you. All I knew was what Theron could and would do, and I didn’t think it was fair for you to have to withstand that.” He eyed me with caution, weighing something in his mind. “He raised me,” he finally said. “And the things I endured there…” He went quiet and dragged his eyes over to Astraea below.
“But you’re the High Lord of the Night Court. Why were you raised by the Autumn Court?”
“Because I’m bastard born. My mother was from the Night Court, low born. She worked in the castle, and when Theron visited, he took one look at her and took her for his own. She was married to Theron as soon as they stepped foot on Autumn soil. She tried to escape him once and came back to the castle looking for refuge. My biological father was the brother of the High Lord here and remembered her and demanded my uncle take her in.” He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his windswept hair before settling them into the back pockets of his pants.
“She was here for months. She and my father fell in love. But she was married to the High Lord of the Autumn Court which meant they couldn’t ever be together unless Theron gave her up. Which would never happen. She was his. My father would never be able to take her as his true Mate.” My face must’ve betrayed my question there. “We choose our Mate when we’ve found the male or female who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. It’s similar to human marriage but much more complicated, and that’s a story for another time.” I nodded, and he continued.
“I guess Theron got sick of it and told my uncle, the High Lord, that my mother belonged to him and that if he didn’t hand her over, there would be war.” He paused at the look on my face. “Yes, little duck, Fae will go to war over what we deem is ours. And he viewed her as his property.” My body went cold. His shadows were dancing around him. “So my uncle’s hand was forced, and they were made to give her back. But she went back with a surprise.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes as he gestured to himself. “I was already making her belly round by the time she made it back to him. He hated me. He was already an evil man. But his hate for me was something wild and unruly. He would beat me for no reason. He taught me how to fight but with real weapons, even as a child, leaving scars all over my body. And if I showed any sign of weakness, he would beat me until he thought it was gone or I pissed myself with pain.”
He shivered, but I knew he wasn’t cold. I didn’t know what to say. I could see a small Asher, bruised and bloody, shoving down his fear and tears, and it broke my heart. I stared at him in silence as a minute ticked by. I was seeing him in a new light. Maybe he was mean and sarcastic because he had some serious deep-rooted trauma. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I had painted him out to be.
“Don’t look at me like that, Alys,” he said, his voice turning dark and rough. I flinched at his tone. “What you’re looking for, you won’t find. Any shred of humanity I had died on Autumn soil. I don’t need nor do I want your pity.” I took a step back from him, shying away from the anger I saw shining in his eyes. He smiled, but this time it was ugly. His fangs glinted in the starlight. “These tattoos I have? They mark deaths that came from my hands. And as you can see, I have a lot of them.” I took another step back from him and was stopped by the rough bark of a tree. My heart hammered in my chest like a caged animal.
I swallowed my fear and tried to buried it deep. I didn’t want him to feel that from me. I thought back to when he was shirtless on the couch, practically bleeding out. His arms, shoulders, chest, and stomach were covered in intricate tattoos, all connected. I never saw his back, but the way they flowed over his shoulders, I assumed it was covered as well. Were his legs? The thought of that much death made my stomach roll. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing my heart back into its normal rhythm. When I opened them, he was in front of me, that same evil smile spread across his lips. His shadows were billowing around him like a storm, blocking out anything else around us.
“I know I’ve been keeping this from you, but I think it’s time you knew.” He tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. The gesture felt threatening. “He’s your father, Alys.”
My entire body went cold as death. He nodded like he could feel the dread course its way through my veins. He grabbed my chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced my eyes to his. He was so close now I could feel his breath on my lips. “You have his eyes,” he whispered. “Every time I look at you, all I can see is the man that beat me half to death and made me watch as he drained the life out of my mother.” A lump formed in my throat, and tears threatened my eyes.
He dropped my chin and created some distance between us, his shadows reluctantly following. I stared at the ground as I took everything in. Of all the times I imagined what my father was like as a child, I never imagined he would be someone capable of the things Asher was accusing him of. The crushing weight of despair forced my shoulders to sag and my limbs to go numb. How could I have been related to someone so awful? I tried to put myself in Asher’s shoes. Looking at someone every day that only reminded you of your captor, your abuser… He must hate me. I wondered if that was why, when he was at his weakest and in so much pain, he had attacked me. Just blind rage at the honey eyes he had seen so many times as a child.
But another thought occurred to me. If Theron was my father, that meant Aoife had to be my sister.
“Wait. That means Aoife is my sister? Is she your sister?” His eyes finally found mine again, and he nodded.
“You and her share the same father, yes. But my mother died long before his new sexual conquests came along.” His lip curled at the thought, and so did mine at the way he described my mother. “Aoife and I share no blood, thank the Gods. And just in case you couldn
’t do the math, neither do we.” Even through all the things Asher had said to me about Aoife, the thought of her being family warmed a small part of my heart. That minuscule warmth faded though as soon as I remembered that she was my only family left, and she still hadn’t come for me.
“So what am I supposed to do, Asher? We have no idea when I’ll become Fae, and until then I’m a sitting duck. I’m weak, breakable. You and Emric can’t be my lifelong babysitters. And I know you don’t want to look at me every day, just a reminder of him sitting around. I also can’t be expected to just hide out in your castle my entire human life if I happen to never change.”
He shook his head slowly back and forth and stared at the snow. “I don’t have the answers to those questions, Alys. Regardless of who your father is, you will always have a place here as long as you want it. But right now, you need to lie low. There’s a reason you haven’t seen anyone other than staff back there. No one can know that you’re here. I can’t take you down there and let you live a life because you would be vulnerable and exposed. I will be exposed, and I would really appreciate not having to go to war over one of his spawn. Sooner or later, you will change. There just has to be something that triggers it, and when that happens, we can revisit the subject of what we do from there.” He shoved his hands in his pockets forcefully and laid his head back to the sky. He took a breath, and it billowed out of him in tendrils of steam. I followed the tattooed lines down the thick column of his throat.
“But there’s a lot of unrest right now,” he continued, bringing his eyes back down to mine. Mine shot to his, my cheeks blushing. “Things are changing in Esteria, and you can’t risk setting anything else off. I need you to promise me you will lie low and try to let me sort this out.” His eyes looked black in this low light, and I tried to match the intensity in his stare.
“I promise.”
I wasn’t sure what other choice he thought I had. I couldn’t make a run for it. I had no idea how to make it back to the human world. Even if I did, I didn’t know if I would be safe there. My only choice right now was to trust him and stay with him, no matter how scared I was of him. I was given a place to live and food to eat. I couldn’t really complain. He looked relieved at my promise. His shoulders relaxed from the tension I didn’t realize had been building inside of him.
But this knowledge I had about him now put me on edge. The sharp claw of fear skittered its way down my spine. He was a murderer. I didn’t think he would hurt me—he had said no one would—but the possibility of it happening in my mind was pulling stronger now that I knew more about who he was.
“How’s your little scrape?” I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit. The thought of riding back to the castle with this tension we had built did not sound like something I would enjoy.
“Completely healed. Wanna see?” That mischievous smile returned to his eyes. He took a few steps back towards me, closing the distance he had created earlier.
“I’ll take your word for it, thank you.” I turned away from him before he could get too close and looked out over Astraea again, my shoulder still leaning against the tree. My legs were still shaky, and I didn’t trust them to hold me up. “It looks like a winter wonderland.” He stopped behind me, and I could feel his tension was fading faster now with the subject change. “I’d like to go down there one day and walk along those canals and visit all the little shops. It’s seriously like a faery tale down there.” I smiled and found him staring at me when I looked over my shoulder at him.
“When it’s safe,” he promised. “When you’re safe, you can go wherever you want.”
I turned my attention back to the little town below us. I took a deep breath, feeling his shadows wrap themselves around me. I leaned into them instinctively and let them fill my senses with the smell of jasmine and cedar.
They quickly pulled away from me, and I stumbled. I blinked and turned around to look at him, but I met his back and he was stiff, still as a statue, looking around the woods behind us. He turned around much quicker than was humanly possible and grabbed both of my arms, his fingertips sinking painfully into my flesh. Again. Bruises were clearly just a known hazard with him. I winced, and a small whimper came out of my mouth as he squeezed harder. My stomach turned cold with fear at the look on his face.
“Listen to me, Alyssandra,” he whispered. “I don’t have time to explain, but I need you to get on Isolde and ride as best and as fast as you can back to the castle.”
“What?” I whispered back in shock. He picked me up like a child, and in a few steps we were back over to Isolde, and I was in the saddle, reins in hand.
“You’re smart. I know you can get back to the road and follow our tracks back to the castle. A sharp nudge with your foot and she will go. Pull back on the reins to stop her. It won’t take a hard pull—she isn’t stubborn. She knows what to do. I will keep you warm and hidden for as long as I can. But I can’t guarantee they won’t smell you.” I looked at him with wide eyes, the fear spreading through my limbs, making them go numb again.
“Asher, what is happening?”
“There are things out here other than Fae, Alys. Dangerous things. Now get back to the castle grounds and start shouting for Emric as soon as you are inside and not a moment before. And whatever you do,” he said, grabbing my hands and squeezing them tightly. His dark eyes were tight with worry. “Do not look back.”
Chapter Eleven
I knew if I headed straight back through the trees, I would find the road. But Isolde was going so fast that I could barely make out the trees as we passed them. I couldn’t hear anything over the hoofbeats and my own heavy breathing. But Asher was right—so far Isolde was letting me ride her easily as we made our way back. All of a sudden, we broke through the trees, and we were on the road. And, shit. Asher hadn’t told me how to turn.
“Left, Isolde!” I shouted and pulled on the left side of the reins. She let out a loud protest but skidded and took a sharp left. I looked down at the snow and saw our old tracks as we took off again. I nudged her lightly with my boot, and she picked up the pace. Then I heard them, loud screams, like what I imagined a banshee would sound like, cutting through the silence behind me. Without thinking, I sent up a prayer to the only higher power I knew of in this world: Nyxa. I prayed to her, shouting in my mind that she would spare myself and Asher.
My heartbeat was erratic. It felt like it might beat right out of my chest at any moment. My breaths were coming in and out just as quickly and probably as loudly as Isolde’s were. I heard branches start snapping and cracking behind me. It took all my willpower not to look behind us as we soldiered on. The feeling of someone watching me crept over me like a thousand spiders, and panic set in. Something was after me, and I wasn’t going to survive. I was going to die a weak and pathetic human.
Another wail came from behind me, this time much closer, and I fought back a scream. A sob broke through me as I felt Asher’s magick fail me. The cold cut across my face like knives and whipped through my hair. My hands, gripping the reins, turned into ice. I knew I was visible to whatever those creatures were, and if they didn’t kill me first, the cold would. The sweater I wore did very little to protect against the wind. I might as well have just been in a bra.
My body shook with relief at the sight of the castle coming into view. The gate that led into the grounds was so close. Another sob bubbled up through my throat, and the tears fell over my cheeks and froze in the wind. Trees were snapping next to us now instead of behind us, and I felt hot breath on my ear.
We broke through the gate, and I screamed Emric’s name as loud as I could. It must’ve spooked Isolde because she took off in the opposite direction I needed to go. She banked left and rode along the tree line, passing them so quickly they were a blur of dark greens and browns. I couldn’t feel the creatures near us anymore, but that didn’t make me feel any safer so close to the woods.
“Isolde!” I yelled and pulled on the reins as hard as I could out of pure fear. She
reared back at my demand, and I fell off her and onto the ground, knocking all of the air out of my lungs. They screamed in protest as I tried to gulp the frosty air inside of them. Isolde was off, running further and further down the grounds. The adrenaline was still pumping through my veins, and it forced me to sit up without a second thought and take off running towards the castle.
“Emric!” I shouted again, my voice hoarse and painful. I was so thankful that I had managed to get past Mavka and wear boots tonight. If I had been dressed for a normal dinner, I would be dead.
It took me a second to get my bearings in the dark. I was on the lake side of the castle now. It was between me and safety, and I ran towards it as fast as I could, my heart beating against my chest in protest. My legs were aching, but thanks to all the training I had been through, it was a good ache. I could do it. I could make it back in one piece. I tripped in a hole and rolled my ankle, falling to the ground. I cursed under my breath and got back up, forcing my body to ignore the pain as I repeated a mantra in my head over and over: One foot in front of the other, Alys.
I reached the edge of the lake and decided to just run straight across it. It would save me time, and because of where I was, I wouldn’t have to go through the deepest parts. With how cold it had been, it was definitely frozen completely over by now. Emric was still nowhere to be seen, and I started to panic again. What if he couldn’t hear me and I would get to the door only to be locked out? I didn’t have any magick. I couldn’t just unlock the stupid doors and waltz in. That would have to be something I discussed with Asher in future. If I survived.
A cracking noise came underneath me, and my stomach fell through my body. This time, it wasn’t the trees that were snapping; it was the ice. I was wrong—it hadn’t been cold enough to support my weight. I picked up my speed, ignoring the stabbing pain coursing up through my leg from my ankle. The ice was breaking more quickly now. I could feel it shift beneath my feet with every step, and I was still so far from the shore.